Marriage, Birth Control, and Divorce FE Publishing Company interviews Chico Xavier

Q.: Chico Xavier, do friendly Spirits present any point of view on divorce in Brazil?

A.: Allan Kardec, in Chapter 22 of The Gospel According to Spiritism, states that divorce is a human law that came to validate a situation already existing between spouses.  From a human point of view, it would naturally be cruel to avoid the possibility of divorce in certain situations in life and in certain areas of our problems, just as what happens when banks and financial organizations may extend deadlines and grant us new opportunities to refinance our debts.

 But we must also be aware of our situation in Brazil and perfectly recognize that we are still immature to receive divorce from the magnanimity of our Justice because we are still a bit young.  We need to enable the collective conscience for an achievement of such expression in the life of the creature and in the life on this planet.

Q.: This is a question linked to the previous one and that has already been asked in our March edition: what is the position of Spiritism concerning divorce?

A.: We return to Allan Kardec in The Gospel According to Spiritism.  In chapter 22, Kardec asserts that divorce validates an already existing situation, but we cannot fail to present a reservation regarding those of us in our country who are seeking Jesus.

We want to follow Our Lord Jesus Christ, and we must wait and work hard so that understanding and love reign over us all.  In order to await an accomplishment like this, from a human point of view and from the point of view of humanity in general, divorce is an understandable law.

We must understand that, by entering marriage, each of us is not creating a union of angels, but rather a highly respectable adjustment of human beings in which each spouse presents certain nuances of incomprehension, sometimes of great difficulties, which must be understood by the other party in the field of mutual relations.

Sex

Q.: How do friendly Spirits interpret the function of sex?

A.: We owe sex the blessed name of mother. We owe sex the formation of the treasure of the home.  Sex is sacred in its intrinsic value.  If there is anything that can degrade sex, it comes from us, and not from divine laws.  We must honor our commitments of a sexual nature with all the strength of our soul, even because through sex we effect the continuity of the species in the world.  But through it, we also receive dynamic forces that can sustain our spiritual and physical life to carrying out our work on Earth.

We just need to know how to transmute the sexual force in our emotional connections with each other, even without sexual contact, to always find love, because love is the law of life.  But, if we know how to transmute sexual energy into service, work, organization, accomplishment, sublimation, we will always find in love – even based on sex not expressed – the deepest spiritual strength of life to guarantee our organic and mental euphoria on Earth.

Birth Control – The pill

Q.: Is the use of contraceptives permissible?

A.: We are faced with a problem in which the concepts of science and family life must be respected by all of us.  Let us hope that time will make us feel the advantages of contraceptives, understanding however, that contraceptives will not be arriving on Earth without a just purpose.

Family Planning

Q.: Does a couple have the right to plan the number of children in their own home?

A: Allan Kardec says in The Spirits’ Book that man must correct everything that may be contrary to nature.  Today, opinions are divided, but considering the problems of our civilization, considering the demands of education and family assistance, we personally believe that a couple has the right to ask God for inspiration, to ask Jesus for the necessary suggestions so that they do not fall into commitments in which the spouses remain frustrated.

We are from a large family.  Personally, I come from a family of 15 siblings, but in the last 20 years, life on the planet has undergone many changes and we must study family planning with great respect for life and, consequently respect to God, in our duties to one another, and not fall into any calamity by omission or desertion of our duties.

Dating, Engagement, Marriage

Q.: Why do couples who were once passionately in love when engaged experience a decrease in mutual affection after the birth of their children?

A.: A large number of marriages on Earth follow redemption determinations chosen by the spouses themselves, before being reborn in the physical cradle.  Those friends who will be the couple’s children often transform, or rather ignore, the probable difficulties of marriage so that the spouses can get closer according to the precepts of divine laws and form the home, transforming certain difficulties into reasons for greater love and understanding.

Dating and engagement are often overseen by family Spirits who will be the couple’s children.  When these same Spirits become our children, it seems that there is a decrease in love, but this is not the case.  There is, indeed, a pruning of passion, in the chapter of possessive affections that we must avoid.

Difficulties in marriage

Q.: Should couples who experience less mutual affection after the arrival of children continue to be together?

A.: Our spiritual friends explain that no one can demand shows of greatness from anyone and that human beings can embrace certain heroic situations, but as much as possible out of love for the children.  Out of love for our families, we must endure any kind of difficulty to support the family and protect the invulnerability of the home.  Many times, in order to support our friends, we sacrifice ourselves completely to provide great guarantees for which we are not prepared.  Why can’t we also suffer or fight for the love of our children, our descendants?  This is a question for all of us, affirms Chico Xavier.

Home and Family

Q.: From a spiritual point of view, how can we define home and family?

A: Another statement from our Emmanuel is that home is a blessing from God for men and that family is a creation of men where they can serve God, as long as they lovingly accept sacrifice and relinquishment, work and service as the foundations of our common happiness.

Q.: What is the ideal mechanism for achieving peace and security among family members linked to the same home and name?

A.: We believe that this problem will be perfectly solved when we forget possessive affection, the idea that we belong to each other.  We achieve peace and security when we deeply respect each other, each one seeking to work and serve, showing their own ability and service accomplishment within the vocation with which they were born within the home.

In this way, with mutual respect and the love that liberates, the love that does not enslave, the problem of peace in the family will be perfectly assured as the proper solution.